By: Rachel Mork
Do you know the signs of a controlling personality? You might want to learn what to be on the lookout for. To protect yourself from unhealthy relationships, you will want to watch out for the signs listed here that are indicative of a controlling nature.
Watch out for partners who are insecure or jealous. Jealousy can lead to domestic violence, the most dangerous aspect of a relationship with someone with a controlling personality. Make sure you only enter into relationships with people who respect your need for independence and who trust your fidelity. Run the other direction at the first sign of unjustified or irrational jealousy.
Look for a short temper and the inability to see things from other people’s perspectives. Many controlling people use anger and conflict to manipulate others into doing what they want. If you are not comfortable engaging in conflict, you probably will find yourself giving in to the opinions and desires of a controlling person with a temper.
Are opinions expressed in such as way that they can be discussed or is everything presented in a black or white format to the point that you feel you have to agree? Watch out for forceful people who insist that their way is the only way. You might admire a person for being confident and assertive, but watch out for a personality that goes beyond positive to forceful and uncompromising.
Some controlling people are subtler than others. Beware of people who use guilt or weakness in an effort to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. These people may not intimidate you the way the forceful or angry people might, but they can cajole you into a submissive position through their manipulative techniques just as easily. You will recognize them by the way they play the role of the victim, making you think you are wronging them if you don’t do the things they request.
Does your partner demand your attention all the time? Does he fill your voicemail with messages and complain when you try to spend time with family or friends? Does she give you a hard time if you cancel a date or choose to spend some time alone? Controlling people deal with insecurity by making demands on you and telling you how bad you are if you don’t meet those demands. If you realize your partner is making unreasonable demands as a method of manipulation and control, tell him the deal is off. You’ll be happier with a person who understands mutual respect and cooperation.