Signs of a Controlling Personality

By: Rachel Mork

Do you know the signs of a controlling personality? You might want to learn what to be on the lookout for. To protect yourself from unhealthy relationships, you will want to watch out for the signs listed here that are indicative of a controlling nature.

Jealousy
Watch out for partners who are insecure or jealous. Jealousy can lead to domestic violence, the most dangerous aspect of a relationship with someone with a controlling personality. Make sure you only enter into relationships with people who respect your need for independence and who trust your fidelity. Run the other direction at the first sign of unjustified or irrational jealousy.

Easily Angered
Look for a short temper and the inability to see things from other people’s perspectives. Many controlling people use anger and conflict to manipulate others into doing what they want. If you are not comfortable engaging in conflict, you probably will find yourself giving in to the opinions and desires of a controlling person with a temper.

Forceful
Are opinions expressed in such as way that they can be discussed or is everything presented in a black or white format to the point that you feel you have to agree? Watch out for forceful people who insist that their way is the only way. You might admire a person for being confident and assertive, but watch out for a personality that goes beyond positive to forceful and uncompromising.

Manipulative
Some controlling people are subtler than others. Beware of people who use guilt or weakness in an effort to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. These people may not intimidate you the way the forceful or angry people might, but they can cajole you into a submissive position through their manipulative techniques just as easily. You will recognize them by the way they play the role of the victim, making you think you are wronging them if you don’t do the things they request.

Demanding
Does your partner demand your attention all the time? Does he fill your voicemail with messages and complain when you try to spend time with family or friends? Does she give you a hard time if you cancel a date or choose to spend some time alone? Controlling people deal with insecurity by making demands on you and telling you how bad you are if you don’t meet those demands. If you realize your partner is making unreasonable demands as a method of manipulation and control, tell him the deal is off. You’ll be happier with a person who understands mutual respect and cooperation.

Risk Level and Designation Determination

Upon release to the community following a conviction for a registerable offense, a sex offender is required to register with the Division of Criminal Justice Services. In order to determine the level of community notification and duration of registration, a hearing is held by the sentencing court. After examining the facts in a particular case, including, but not limited to, the use of force, weapons, alcohol or drugs, victim’s age, number of victims, assault or injury of the victim and relationship to the victim, the court makes a determination regarding the offender’s level of notification, commonly called the risk level. The risk level is based on the court’s assessment regarding whether a particular offender is likely to repeat the same or similar registerable offense and the danger the offender poses to the community. Because the risk level reflects factors unique to a particular sex offender, offenders convicted of the same offense may receive different risk levels.

The court may assign one of the following three risk levels:

Level 1 (low risk of repeat offense), or
Level 2 (moderate risk of repeat offense), or
Level 3 (high risk of repeat offense and a threat to public safety exists).

The risk level governs the amount and type of information which can be released as community notification and also impacts duration of registration. (Note: In the interim period between registration and the risk level hearing, the offender’s risk level may be referred to as “pending” and only confirmation that an offender is registered can be provided via the 800# Information line.

Designation

In addition to the risk level, the court also determines whether a sex offender should be designated a sexual predator, a sexually violent offender or a predicate sex offender. This designation, along with the risk level, governs the duration of the registration. Level 1 sex offenders must register for 20 years unless they have been given one of the above designations. Level 2 and Level 3 sex offenders are required to be registered for life. If the sex offender has been designated a sexual predator, a sexually violent offender or a predicate sex offender, he or she must register for life regardless of risk level. Below is a chart which you may find helpful.

RISK LEVEL	DESIGNATION RECEIVED? (SEXUAL PREDATOR, SEXUALLY VIOLENT OFFENDER OR PREDICATE SEX OFFENDER)	DURATION OF REGISTRATION
1	NO DESIGNATION	20 YEARS
2	NO DESIGNATION	LIFE
3	NO DESIGNATION	LIFE
1	YES, DESIGNATION RECEIVED	LIFE
2	YES, DESIGNATION RECEIVED	LIFE
3	YES, DESIGNATION RECEIVED	LIFE

Petition for Relief from Registration

A level 2 sex offender who has not received a designation of sexual predator, sexually violent offender or predicate sex offender, who has been registered for a minimum period of thirty years, may be relieved of any further duty to register upon the granting of a petition for relief by the sentencing court or the court which made the determination regarding duration of registration and level of notification. Correction Law §168-o(1) sets forth the procedures to follow when a level 2 sex offender who has been registered for a minimum of 30 years wishes to file a petition for relief from registration.

Petition to Modify Risk Level

Any registered sex offender or district attorney may petition the sentencing court or the court which made the determination regarding the level of notification for an order modifying the level of notification (risk level). Correction Law §168-o sets forth the procedures to follow when a registered sex offender or the district attorney wishes to file a petition to modify an offender’s risk level.

Hello world!

Learning while in prison can work two ways – as an inmate or as someone who has chosen to work with this population. Given that the LAST place I knew I would EVER work was in prison….in the largest residential sex offender program in the US….I present this site dedicated to the premise that synchronocity being what it is, you just never know.

The most important part of life is to learn from what is presented wherever you are at. I realize that I am currently in a position to learn  about variant lifestyles, thinking, feeling and the decision making on a whole different level.  Life has offered many enlightening learning situations, but this is the most varied and intense. And, from the inmates’ point of view, I am often told that the same has happened to them within this program. Stay open and life has many surprises!

 I’m sure others have input that might be valuable on this subject.